Our firsts…

One thing that I could never get enough of or tire of are the moments I fall in love with something for the first time. The first time I listen to a song, the first time I finish a book that captured my heart, the first time I eat a delicious meal, the first time I watch an amazing movie or the first time I experience something new.

We often grow tired of what we start repeating over and over again. I tend to do this a lot, for example, with a song. If I fall in love a song, I hit the replay button like a broken record. The funny thing is, I try and tell myself to calm it down because I know, as much as I’m vibin’ to it and jamming out, eventually I’ll have had run its course without having taken the time to relish what it made me feel.

Soon enough, it becomes a song that I listen to every once in a while or I end up hitting “next.” I exhaust my newly found love before I even had the chance to take it in. If I could choose one special ability that I could possess, it would be to experience certain things over and over again, as if it were the first time.

A lot of people might agree because those feelings are what most of us wish we could hold on to or even remember. The “first times,” the “first feelings” are always the special kinds of beginnings that make it to the forefront of our memory bank. They become the moments we want to revisit and relive the same way they happened.

Can you imagine reading your favorite book multiple times as if it were the first time you picked it up? You would fall in love with the characters and the story-line as if you were being introduced to them at the very beginning of it all. To have your mind re-read the words with just as much excitement as you did the last time knowing you could never grow tired of them.

Your inspirations would never fall short nor be forgotten. You wouldn’t have to feel regret of not having cherished those moments originally because you would feel it every single time.

But I think because that’s not the reality with how our memories and our minds work, we must make it a priority to think of our “firsts,” no matter how big or small or what they may be, as if they’re our last.

Your will to live will prevail…

Growing up is tough, right? I means, as a child, our only expectation of evil came from the fairy-tales we were told and read about. Evil villains, evil times, evil thoughts. Our innocence is what’s kept us out of harms way. Our ignorance the blinds shielding us from what was true, having us settle only on what we believed to be true.

Through the years, I think it’s safe to say that on many occasions, ignorance is bliss, huh? No, it’s not always ideal nor favored to remain in the dark. But sometimes the light catches something you wish to unsee. As a teenager and as an adult, you’ve probably had some or many moments where you would’ve wanted those words to have fallen on deaf ears, or been blind to not witness those photographs.

I wish I could say it’s only once you reach a certain age, that you’re hit with a dose of reality, but even as a child, many are faced with the realization that the world is, in fact, not perfect. Some have had to fight off evil villains. Others have endured evil times. A greater portion has had to combat evil thoughts. And the majority have had to overcome all 3.

My biggest evil has been my thoughts. And with more and more people coming forward, opening up about their depression and mental illness, it’s an evil that is no longer a myth. It does not get more real than a person who chooses death above anything else.

I’ve conquered my depression, just as many others have. But I will not deny the moments my evil tries to return because another piece of my ignorance was brought into the light or my innocence chipped away. Most often, it’s as simple as questioning myself constantly on just about everything. The fear to live. And fear, with all the thoughts that follow, has always been my shortcoming.

But it’s one I don’t plan on giving into. I’m no longer a child. I’ve been introduced, hit after hit, to reality. Just like all of you. But I have introduced my strength, my resilience, and my faith. And as I continue to grow, so will these key components of my character.

Sometimes you’ll wish to go back in time to simpler days where your innocence is all you needed and your ignorance is all you wanted. But that’s just not how our stories go. You may be fighting your evil today. You may have to fight your evil tomorrow, but rest assured, if you have that fire burning within you, than your will to live will prevail.

Triumphant’s 2 Years Old!

Did you know I actually started my blog in Colombia? The fact that I started it there means a lot to me because even though I was raised with my Colombian roots, I wasn’t born there, nor did I ever live there. It’s only ever been vacations to visit my family, so to say that I started sharing my story along with so many different voices in a place that’s so close to my heart and is in my blood means the world to me.

So to celebrate Triumphant’s 2 year birthday, I’m doing a giveaway that will consist of 3 lucky winners receiving a pair of authentic earrings from the Homeland! To enter, head over to my instagram @triumphantf , like my giveaway post and comment one place in the world you would love to visit!

These earrings were actually made from Colombian palm tree’s. They’re unique and beautiful and…a piece of home to be honest. This is a perfect gift for any woman who wants an authentic and singular piece of jewelry from another country. Enter now to win your pair!

And a big thank you to everyone who has supported me from Day 1 and has kept me going with your love. My favorite part about doing this is, not only reading the comments about how my words resonate with all of you, but getting to know the people who have shared their hearts on my platform.

It isn’t always easy to bare your heart and talk about yourself with the whole world (maybe one day… hehehe) reading your thoughts and feelings. You guys are my inspiration and my drive. Triumphant was created to inspire you but you have all inspired me.

I love you guys and never forget, YOU are Triumphant. Thank you ❤

My fight…

I remember I wrote this poem in class after I moved away from Florida. From the life that had no light left to help me get through my darkest days. Little did I know that just because you remove yourself from a your given situation, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve won the battle and you’re free… but sometimes, it is what’s needed. I knew things weren’t going to be perfect and there were other hardships I would have to face, but I also knew in that moment I had won the biggest battle I was afraid to lose. The fight for my life.

This is for all those people who don’t believe they won’t make it through. For those who need to be reminded what they’ve overcome. How they’re triumphant. And how, no matter what you may have to endure in the future, you’ll always be strong enough to get yourself back up.

Chain-less

She’s changed so much in these past years.

A girl who had so many fears.

The pain she went through everyday.

She’d fight but it would only stay.

The tears held back, the tears let go,

this illness was her biggest foe.

She thought that this was just a curse,

but then it happened, something worse.

Do hearts deceive? No doubt they do.

She loved a boy she thought she knew.

To sweet talk was his special knack,

but then he stabbed her in the back.

He “loved” her hard until no end,

when really it was just pretend.

Through this time, she fell apart.

It broke and bruised her young weak heart.

When she couldn’t anymore,

she found another open door.

A new life waiting to begin,

a new girl living in her skin.

A chance not many could obtain.

Instead of losing, she would gain.

Now, at last, she feels alive.

The day she’s waited to arrive

There are moments here and there

where life can be too much to bear.

The journey’s tough yet possible

to live her life, not vain, but full.

Now she knows her faith and strength

could help her go through any length.

Even though there’s difficult times,

Don’t forget the mountain she climbed

to end up where she’s meant to be.

A girl with chains has been set free.

My Favorite Accessory: A Jord Watch…

As I grow older, I catch myself checking the numbers on the clock more often than not. More often than I ever have. I’m constantly telling myself I’m on a time limit every day. I have this amount of minutes before I have to get up for work, this amount of hours before a given deadline, this amount of time before the day ends. It’s like a constant alarm that goes off as if it wants me to be aware of every second that goes by so it can be accounted for.

And frankly, I miss the days when that wasn’t even on my radar. Time was forgotten until I was forced to remember it. But maybe there’s a way I can watch the clock without having it feel like some sort of countdown. I can count the minutes with anticipation rather than dread, or I can forget about it all together and let each hour run its course. 

Time offers more than strict deadlines. It allows for change, opportunities, and growth. Sometimes good things don’t last forever, but there’s comfort in knowing that the bad won’t either. The reality is that not every minute is one you want to account for. Not every minute is going to be one you want to remember. But every time you check the hands on a clock, just think “there’s still time.” 

The next time I catch myself looking at my JORD watch, I won’t be hearing the ticking as a countdown. I’ll look at it and think to myself, “There’s still time.” For a chance to win $100 off a JORD watch of your own, enter my giveaway here! Everyone who enters will receive 10% off just for trying! Good luck!

Revisit the past…

I believe one of the greatest gifts we’ve been given is the ability to create memories. To store our life’s movies in a place in our minds that we have access to at any moment. I had written a while ago about how I love taking trips down memory lane. It’s one of my favorite things to do.

My senses allow me to travel back in time to a moment that was significant in one way or another. There are some memories that are clearer than others but the feeling is potent in every single one. A sound, a smell, a touch, a taste or a sight, it blankets you with the pieces of what once was.

I had traveled to New Bedford many times to visit family my whole life. I hadn’t gone back to certain places that meant so much to me at such a young age though. Having gone back to my schools where it all began was such a wonderful experience.

I began to reminisce about the time I went to school with my mom while she studied English. And the rock wall we used to climb whenever we got ice cream with my cousins. I remembered my Kindergarten classroom that had now become the new art room and how it was in that very same classroom that I developed “my type” in men 😉 (No, I did not believe in cooties)

I got to see the faces of those working at HeadStart and Friends Academy light up when I told them I was a former student 19 years ago. Things have changed over the course of 2 decades but each place still has remnants of the past; The layout, the colors, the atmosphere.

I think everyone should revisit a past they hold dear to their heart if they ever get an opportunity. There’s nothing like going back to a time you know you can never really return to… but at least you’ll have the memories to keep forever.

friendsacademy1810.org

paceheadstart.org

Clear up the fog…

Why do our lives sometimes get flipped upside down? Why do they do a 180 instead of a 360? Humans have to be kept on their toes as a means to survive. If you get too comfortable, you might lose sight of the ultimate goal. Maybe it’s just cause. Situations arise and some are out of our control so we’re helpless to the change.

Or perhaps our eyes needed a new perspective. Our vision starts to turn foggy with the every day details that become so routine and mundane that there’s no other way to clear the sight than to do a handstand to shake the fog. (of course not literally) But it certainly feels like it when the life you know changes completely.

It’s a good thing. It may not be under the best circumstances… I mean, I never would’ve picked my dad having cancer as a way to gain a new perspective… but it was necessary. Whatever kind of flip you get, it transforms you. You’ll feel unsteady, you’ll feel the blood rush to your head and you’ll question how long you can tolerate it.

But it’s necessary. Whether it be a personal journey or one you share with other people, it has a purpose. The fog will soon clear and you’ll have righted yourself with a different stance. It could’ve impacted you in the smallest way or it could’ve turned you into a completely different person.

As long as you keep your eyes on what’s important, it won’t matter how many handstands you’ll have to get through… because you’ll know it’s just a new perspective coming to clear up that fog.